I’m not sure what you find daunting. Remember the feeling that you get before you do it? Perhaps it’s walking across a bridge where you can see through to the water, or being near the edge of a tall cliff, or climbing a big ladder, or speaking in front of a crowd. For me, the past few days, it’s a plate of food. I sit before my plate and look at the huge task ahead me. It looks like that cliff, or the ladder, or the bridge. The pressure is excruciating, and my heart races. My mouth is sore, my throat is sore, my tongue is stiff. If I finish it, I’m tired, breathing hard, maybe sweating. If I don’t, I can feel the pressure on me for calories and protein. It’s just a plate of fucking food!
That was a particularly tough meal. Luckily since that night, just a portion of each meal goes like that. But I know it’s a window into the future as I go into Week 4. In fact, tonight, chemo night, I was able to eat two servings of chicken pot pie. I’ll just have to take what I can get, and make a pig of myself when I can.
Challenges
11 thoughts on “Challenges”
Leave a reply to Donna Cancel reply
Cancer in the time of corona 
It’s okay to eat only things that are easier to eat, or only things that you love(like ice cream). Also, it’s okay to only eat what works for you and has the nutrients you need over and over until you get tired of it. I’m sure you probably already know this, but just in case. Do what you gotta do to get through! Hang in there Steve, you’re a bad ass!
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Great advice. We are trying new things and old favorites to see what works.
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Fruit smoothies with protein powder?
Man – when one of life’s pleasures is turned into an ordeal – that sounds very very hard to deal with!
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The doctors and nutritionist want Steve eating “normal” food as long as he can, to keep his tongue and swallowing muscles working. That’s better for long-term recovery. For now, they suggest adding calories to normal stuff, like making rice pudding with heavy cream. But we have a whole shelf full of protein drinks and protein powder all lined up for we need them. (As long as I don’t drink all of the chocolate CorePowers before then!)
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It is really tough, tougher than I thought it would be. On top of it, I can’t taste a thing, so….
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What an ordeal! I detest those supplemental drinks that are recommended! Think fresh trout with potatoes a la herbs de la Provence and Bob’s home brew!
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If ever you need them, there are a lot more drink choices than there used to be. I’ve been drinking some of them just because they’re good!
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Perhaps you can distract yourself while eating? Reading something interesting? Watching an exciting show or movie?
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That’s worth a try. I will let you know how it goes.
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Actually that worked for me. I had nausea and could not eat and then I started proof reading my daughter’s thesis while eating and that got me distracted and managed to eat everything. Today I was well again but I thought that next time I will try playing a board game while eating. Just a thought, starting week 3 tomorrow.
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I have tried reading unsuccessfully. Maybe something more interactive like a game. I’ll try it.
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