i Forgot

Hope everyone had a great holiday, Suzy and I did. Well actually, we had an interestingly odd holiday, but that’s another story for another day.

December 24th came and went. I didn’t think of it, “it” being cancer, and Christmas Eve being the third anniversary of the end of treatment. I am pretty surprised as the first 2 anniversaries, I reflected on the cancer path pretty deeply. In fact, I still think of “it” at some point almost everyday.

In November, I had my semi-annual CT scan and an endoscopy, an inside look around my mouth, throat, etc. with a camera. Thankfully, no cancer so I am good for another six months. My cancer check horizon has changed from every 3 months to 6 months, so that’s positive. I still get “scanxiety” (now you know a word/concept from the cancer world) before every scan, wondering if they will find something.

Back to forgetting, I am puzzled why I didn’t think of it. Am I getting comfortable with the threat of cancer? Am I confident that it’s gone? Am I just plain forgetful?

When I was a kid, there was an tough guy actor named John Wayne who got cancer and had successful surgery. My dad had cancer during that exact same time. After John Wayne recovered, he said “I licked the big C”. I was always impressed that my dad licked the big C, too, just like John Wayne.

Am I thinking I’m like my Dad and John Wayne and that I licked the big C? I don’t think that’s it as it is always in the back of my mind. So why is it? Not sure I’ll ever know.

Thanks for reading. Have a great 2024!